Arguments with your girlfriend, unfortunately, are a fact of life at some point in a relationship. Even if the relationship seems to be going really great, there'll some a point where you find yourselves bickering. You'll find that sometimes tempers flare for no real reason, and arguments start for the most ridiculous reasons!
Let's face it - "winning" an argument feels almost as bad as losing it! Is it possible to quit the bickering and get along while the relationship is still strong?
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #1 -- Don't Drown Yourself in Details
If you fight about every trivial thing, then even the important things will wind up appearing trivial. Is getting your way every time so critical? Because it's probably not going to happen. Let's say she's got a problem getting somewhere on time - is it really worth it to get into a fight every time she's a few minutes late? If you want to spend a few hours bickering about how she was a few minutes late, then go for it. If that's not your idea of a pleasant evening, though, just drop it.
Don't misunderstand - if something important crops up, you've got to deal with it. My advice to let the small things slide doesn't mean I'm advocating infidelity. You've got to confront her as soon as you find out about such major transgressions. But if she drank the last of the milk last night and there's none for this morning's coffee, so what? Have a cup of black coffee and leave it be!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #2 -- Share Your Feelings
You're probably familiar with the problem - guys like to keep issues - even the serious ones - bottled up inside themselves. Issues just sit and fester until suddenly there's a major problem. This is a really destructive approach to problem-solving Let's say that whenever you two go out, she never pays or even says anything about it, and this bothers you. You've got to tell her how you feel!
Your conversation needs to be calm and civilized, though, and you can't call her a miser! You can't think that when people annoy you, they're doing it on purpose. For example, it's the custom in many places that the man pays. If, when you talk with her, you find out that this is how she was raised, you'll know that she wasn't trying to make you feel bad, but good! And you can figure out a way she can contribute without making you feel bad!
A straightforward, honest discussion with your girlfriend is actually a great way to stay out of fights!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #3 -- Look for Patterns
The things we fight about are frequently immaterial - it's the fighting itself and the general subject matter that might form patterns that are instructive. Take the lead in trying to end the arguing with your girlfriend - examine the last few arguments and look for a common thread, some similarity among them all.
If it seems that your fights are mostly about money or respecting each others' time, don't start another fight, but sit down seriously and talk about that. If she does things that make you feel bad, or stupid, or embarrassed, or whatever, tell her so. She might not be aware. What you must avoid, though, is judging or accusing her. Don't be ashamed to share your feelings, because when the two of you do so, you'll learn more about each other. Sharing your feelings generally leads to real solutions to problems, from compromise to entirely new ways of doing things.
Frankly, this is what relationships are all about - sharing how you feel with her. What good is it to prove that you're "right" all the time, if all that means is that you keep on arguing with your girlfriend? This is real life, and a real adult relationship you're in. Make the effort to share your feelings with her honestly and you'll be surprised how quickly the two of you stop the silly bickering and start really enjoying each other's company!
Let's face it - "winning" an argument feels almost as bad as losing it! Is it possible to quit the bickering and get along while the relationship is still strong?
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #1 -- Don't Drown Yourself in Details
If you fight about every trivial thing, then even the important things will wind up appearing trivial. Is getting your way every time so critical? Because it's probably not going to happen. Let's say she's got a problem getting somewhere on time - is it really worth it to get into a fight every time she's a few minutes late? If you want to spend a few hours bickering about how she was a few minutes late, then go for it. If that's not your idea of a pleasant evening, though, just drop it.
Don't misunderstand - if something important crops up, you've got to deal with it. My advice to let the small things slide doesn't mean I'm advocating infidelity. You've got to confront her as soon as you find out about such major transgressions. But if she drank the last of the milk last night and there's none for this morning's coffee, so what? Have a cup of black coffee and leave it be!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #2 -- Share Your Feelings
You're probably familiar with the problem - guys like to keep issues - even the serious ones - bottled up inside themselves. Issues just sit and fester until suddenly there's a major problem. This is a really destructive approach to problem-solving Let's say that whenever you two go out, she never pays or even says anything about it, and this bothers you. You've got to tell her how you feel!
Your conversation needs to be calm and civilized, though, and you can't call her a miser! You can't think that when people annoy you, they're doing it on purpose. For example, it's the custom in many places that the man pays. If, when you talk with her, you find out that this is how she was raised, you'll know that she wasn't trying to make you feel bad, but good! And you can figure out a way she can contribute without making you feel bad!
A straightforward, honest discussion with your girlfriend is actually a great way to stay out of fights!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #3 -- Look for Patterns
The things we fight about are frequently immaterial - it's the fighting itself and the general subject matter that might form patterns that are instructive. Take the lead in trying to end the arguing with your girlfriend - examine the last few arguments and look for a common thread, some similarity among them all.
If it seems that your fights are mostly about money or respecting each others' time, don't start another fight, but sit down seriously and talk about that. If she does things that make you feel bad, or stupid, or embarrassed, or whatever, tell her so. She might not be aware. What you must avoid, though, is judging or accusing her. Don't be ashamed to share your feelings, because when the two of you do so, you'll learn more about each other. Sharing your feelings generally leads to real solutions to problems, from compromise to entirely new ways of doing things.
Frankly, this is what relationships are all about - sharing how you feel with her. What good is it to prove that you're "right" all the time, if all that means is that you keep on arguing with your girlfriend? This is real life, and a real adult relationship you're in. Make the effort to share your feelings with her honestly and you'll be surprised how quickly the two of you stop the silly bickering and start really enjoying each other's company!
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